Starting From Where I Am

My husband asked if Stone Horse Jewelry was a very expensive hobby or a business. Good question. Was I pretending to be a business owner or was I serious? Yes, I want to create jewelry. Yes, I want Stone Horse Jewelry to be a profitable business.

But ....

I have been away from making jewelry for several years. Health issues, feeling old and uninspired, and then at a loss as to where and how to start being an artist again. Was I ever an artist? Have I lost those hard learned skills? Can I do this, or should I sell all my tools and stones? My brain and heart hurt. I felt so behind, so disorganized, so overwhelmed by all I needed to do. The tools were rusting, the stones were disorganized, the studio was topsy-turvy, I had no ideas for new designs, and on and on and on.

I did some things - cleaned tools, organized stones and metals, created an (incomplete) inventory, and I started watching free how-to jewelry making tutorials on my laptop. I found an instructor I enjoyed and subscribed to her group. I subscribed to a few others as well. I bought stones and more tools I believed I couldn't live without. I was investing more money and still not making anything.

A few months ago, the instructor I enjoy so much did a class on how to make a beautiful pair of earrings using a technique I had never seen before. The technical skills involved propelled me into inspiration mode. I began thinking of designs and started putting ideas on paper. I was excited again. Many thanks to Francesca Watson at The Makery. I still hadn't lit my torch, but I was feeling the itch for the flame.

More recently I took another on-line course - more money invested, nothing new made. But this course wasn't about a maker's technical skill set. It was on how to develop systems to create a sustainable business. How to manage the business side - taxes, accounting, marketing. How to refine my design aesthetic. How I don't need every new shiny tool toy or pretty stone to survive. How to re-write my inner dialogue to value my technical skills and value my worth as an artist. How I can start from where I am. How I do not have to do it all at once. How fellowship with other artists is fundamental in recognizing and sharing insecurities (I'm not alone!), for technical advice, encouragement, compliments, and constructive feedback. Many thanks to Courtney Gray at Courtney Gray Arts and the Transform Circle artists.

I lit my torch. I started making.

So, my friends (in real life and on-line), I am back. With inspirational sayings taped everywhere I can see them. I am working on my fears, believing I am an artist, starting from where I am, and trying to remember I don't have to do everything at once. I need more sticky notes.